Sit With Me Awhile

Most of the things I write about lately sound calm.

Reflective.

Thoughtful.

Like I’ve figured out how to take everything that happened and turn it into lessons and growth.

And sometimes that version of me is real.

But today isn’t one of those days.

Today I’m angry.

Today I’m hurt.

Today I’m tired of hearing my name come out of the mouths of people who have no idea what they’re talking about.

I’ve spent months trying to take responsibility for my mistakes, trying to grow, trying to become someone stronger and more self-aware than the woman I was before everything fell apart.

But some days it feels like no matter how much healing you do, the past still shows up like it happened yesterday.

Some days it feels like people are determined to keep you in the worst version of yourself they’ve ever seen.

And that’s exhausting.

The truth is, healing doesn’t erase anger.

It doesn’t magically make everything peaceful.

Sometimes healing just means you feel the anger and you don’t let it turn you into someone you don’t want to be.

So today I’m not writing from the calm, enlightened version of myself.

Today I’m writing from the part of me that is still human.

Still frustrated.

Still tired of the small-town whispers and the people who think they know my story better than I do.

And maybe that’s okay too.

Because if this blog is going to be honest, it can’t only show the polished parts of healing.

It also has to show the days where the process still feels messy.

Today is one of those days.

And I’m letting that be true.